Portal Microwaves
by Rhiannon-la
Summary: Oh my, what will happen to the Harry Potter world if four fanfiction writers were to be transported to Hogwarts via a microwave bought at a garage sale. But, the company that bulit it is called Portal, irony, yay. Not an original plot, yes, but still fun.
1. Microwaving Doritos

Ok  
so summary pretty much sums it up.  
Four main characters are Laney, Lizzy, Cori and Rhiannon  
and we are real people  
fanfic accounts are:

Jizzy  
LizzAnn  
.Corianne.  
Rhiannon-la

brainchild of Liz and I when Cori and Laney left us

so enjoy

The four girls were sitting on Delaney's bed watching the television screen before them intently.

Elizabeth Bathory's face flashed on the screen distorting her appearance, causing the shortest girl to jump and let out a small shriek. "God, that always gets me!"

Cori paused _Stay Alive_ and the other two girls laughed at their German Friend

"You guys are mean," She whined, sliding off the bed too small for four 15-year-old girls. "I'm getting food."

"Awww, Laney don't be like that." Rhiannon, the second shortest girl, followed her friend down the hall and down the tight staircase that was apart of Laney's small house.

Lizzy and Cori exchanged looks and Cori continued the movie. At least two out of the four girls present could quote the movie in parts, so it wasn't a big deal that Laney and Rhi were missing something. They were watching Rhi's copy anyways. So the TV returned to Hutch and his video game obsessed friends and their conflict.

"Uh… Laney? Where'd you go?" Rhi entered the kitchen from the living room to find Delaney hunched over a notebook on the two-person kitchen table.

"Oh," the blonde head popped up from her notebook, "I forgot where I left this. I'm working on another Harry Potter fanfic."

"Ahh, I see," Rhiannon sat opposite of Laney and watched as the German scrawled in the notebook containing other various fics posted under her account.

The four girls were all avid fanfiction writers. Each with their own account with the fics they've written together or by themselves.

"That's cool," Rhi wound her fingers through her shoulder length, auburnish hair, in need of another dye. "Just don't make me the resident Hogwarts whore."

Delaney returned her attention to her writing. "Oh, you won't be. Cori's going to take that spot. It's not fun anymore to make you the whore, when we did it was because you're the least whore-like out of the four of us." She wiped her side-swept bangs out of her eyes. "Except, you've had more boyfriends than the rest of us," She added in an afterthought.

"Soo, who'd I get paired with?"

Laney opened her mouth to respond, but Rhi's attention was on the microwave on the counter beside her. It was sputtering and releasing sparks as it heated up what looked to be Doritos.

"Laney…. why are you-" Rhiannon and Delaney were sucked into a swirling blue vortex of doom intentions coming from the microwave built by a company called "Portal".

Cori had her eyes on the television setting on the dresser across from the foot of the bed. She had changed from her shorts into a pair of lightweight summer pj bottoms. She had also had stretched out in Laney and Rhi's absence.

Lizzy, however, was sitting on the floor, her back against the bed, texting on her blue sliding phone. Cori turned up the volume of the TV, unknowing that the noise that was interrupting one of her all time favorite movie was emanating from an electronic one floor below her.

When the din reached the point that it was unbearable, Cori decided to find out what her friends were doing to make such a noise. She turned off the TV, Lizzy close on her heels, and headed down the claustrophobia-inducing staircase. They took a cautious step into the living room, calling for Rhi and Laney over the roar coming from the kitchen. When no reply came, the walked forward into the brightly lit kitchen.

The duo only got a foot over the threshold and then they were sucked into the swirling vortex after their two friends.

* * *

next chapter will include HP elements  
but everything has to have a begining right?

questions? comments?  
review please


	2. Encounter

Ok  
so second chapter of Portal Microwaves is finished  
wrote by Miss Lizzy

and as you know  
we claim nothing  
except how our characters behave  
because that's how we would behave in the Harry Potter world

so enjoy

When the four girls finally reached their unintended destination, they quickly stopped, slamming against something hard and cold. What appeared to be a hallway or room of some kind was damp and dimly lit, making seeing and maneuvering a challenge. With a few grumbles and complaints, the girls managed to sit together in a close circle.

"Okay, first off, where did you get that microwave Laney?" Cori asked.

"Umm... a garage sale." Laney said unsurely. "It was only two dollars!"

"I wonder why!" Rhiannon exclaimed sarcastically.

"Well, honestly, I don't really care about the microwave. Where the flip are we?" Lizzy said.

Just as she finished her questions, footsteps echoed around the four girls.

"Hide!" Rhi hissed at the other three girls.

They all scrambled behind a large stone statue and peeked around the corner. Since their eyes had adjusted to the dark, they could make out a human figure moving towards them.

"Oh, my god." was all Lizzy managed to whisper when the figure came into full view.

Severus Snape rounded a corner and was walking right in their direction.

"Are we on a movie set?" Laney asked, obviously bewildered.

"Do you see any cameras, smart one?" Cori asked her.

Laney just stuck her tongue out at Cori, which was returned by the same gesture.

"Guys, I think Lizzy is drooling," Rhi whispered.

Lizzy was completely mesmerized by one of her once fictional dream men.

Laney tried to suppress a giggle, but she squeaked before Cori could get her hands to Laney's mouth.

"Who's there?" Snape's deep voice rang throughout the room.

The four girls froze in their spots, knowing they were about to be discovered. Snape suspiciously looked around for a moment, but continued on his way after a few moments. The girls would have been safe, wasn't not for Lizzy's deep obsession with Alan Rickman, especially as Severus Snape.

"Sevie!" Lizzy uncharacteristically squealed, jumping form her hiding spot and hitting Snape square in the chest.

"Great," Rhi said, smacking herself on the forehead. The three other girls had given up their hiding spots and now stood before the menacing potions professor.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" Snape bellowed. He had jumped up from the ground and was holding Lizzy at arms length, who was grinning sheepishly.

"Oops..." Lizzy mumbled.

"Nice job, Lizzy." Cori said sarcastically.

"Yeah, well let's see what you do if we meet your dream guy." Lizzy spat, growling at her.

* * *

you know you want to review

anyways I will write the third chapter  
and it should be up before next weekend


	3. Sorting

We are not J.K. Rowling and do not accept money for our works... yet.

Chapter wrote by me, Rhi

* * *

The potions master just rolled his eyes at the squabbling foursome. "I do not get paid enough to deal with teenagers," he mumbled to himself. "Enough girls," he bellowed. "If you follow me, the headmaster has been expecting you," Snape's usual drawl back in his voice.

The girls stared in open mouth astonishment at the once fictional character. Why was Dumbledore expecting them?

Snape turned on his heel and the four girls followed his brisk pace down the silent and dark corridors until the stopped in front of the stone gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office.

Snape mumbled something that sounded like "rainbows".

"Ha, so J.K. Rowling wasn't lying when she envisioned Dumbledore a little fruity." Rhi whispered to her friends. The gargoyle jumped out of the way and he motioned the foursome to walk up the steps.

"Does anyone else get a really creepy feeling about this?" Rhiannon whispered to Lizzy, Cori, and Laney.

"Well, we are in J.K Rowling's fantasy world all because the German likes to microwave Doritos. Now, we learn that the Hogwarts headmaster is not at all surprised and in fact, is expecting us." Cori hissed back.

The door loomed before them and Laney reached for the handle, but it swung forward on its own accord.

The very eccentric looking professor with his droopy hat and long white beard stood ahead the friends, beaming like a child on Christmas morning.

"Ahh, welcome my children! Now I'm sure you have many questions, but they must wait." Rhi opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off. "Now, now, my dear, the knowledge will soon be yours, but now, we must sort you!" If humanly possible, Albus' smile got wider.

Delaney reflexively looked to the shelves lining the room. Yes, she has read the series too many times.

The other three girls followed her gaze and found the battered looking Sorting Hat. And right on cue, it started a conversation with Snape, who had followed in behind the girls unnoticed.

"Now Severus, these girls are tired and are full of questions. So the sooner they get sorted the sooner they can get a bed and sleep." He had not missed Cori's stifled yawn.

"Very well,"

The spry headmaster reached up, plucked the hat from the shelf, and in one fluid motion, placed it upon Lizzy's head.

"Well then child. I can tell right away where you'll fit. The dungeons call your name, my dear. Slytherin is where you belong." Lizzy's freckled cheeks burned bright red. She would get her Sevie as head of house.

Cori stood stock still as the hat contemplated her house. After several long silent moments, it replied with one word, "Ravenclaw,"

Rhi came next and the hat barely grazed her hair and bellowed, "Gryffindor for you."

And last but not least came a hopping Laney. The hat was placed on her head the two whispered back and forth for several seconds.

"Are you sure?" She squeaked out.

"Never wrong dear, Hufflepuff, where the most loyal lie is for you sweet child."

"Oh," disappointment painted all over her face, "I never thought that I would be… there."

"Aww, Laney it'll be fin, but someone had to be! Just think of One Big Acid Trip." Cori chimed in.

"Oh great," she sighed.


	4. Answers

We are not J.K. Rowling and do not accept money for our works... yet.

Chapter wrote by Lizzy

* * *

Everyone had been sorted into their houses and Dumbledore was about ready to dismiss them.

"Wait a minute," Lizzy cut in, "Why are we so late in getting sorted… and why did we get here by microwave?"

"Well," Dumbledore started, "Your magic was late to show itself. We aren't sure why."

"And as for the microwave, we foolishly consulted Mr. Weasley on that matter," Snape said shaking his head in disgust.

"Well then, I suggest you retire to your rooms for the night. The rest of the students will arrive tomorrow, and classes will begin the day after," the headmaster said cheerily.

Everyone said their goodnights to the headmaster, and headed for the door.

"Hold it!" Delaney demanded, folding her arms over her chest in defiance. "How can Lizzy be in Slytherin if she has two muggle parents?"

"Ah yes, I forgot all about that," Dumbledore mumbled, rubbing his hands together nervously. "I hate to be the one to you this, but your real parents were wizards. They were killed by a renegade wizard when you were just a baby."

Lizzy stared at him blankly for a moment, processing what she had just heard. "Oh, ok!" She shrugged.

"She has issues!" Cori whispered to Laney and Rhiannon, who both nodded in agreement.

"This conversation has been absolutely engaging, but I still have things to prepare," Snape said sarcastically. He nodded to the headmaster and swiftly headed out the door.

"I'll help!" Lizzy exclaimed, quickly following his trail.

"Ok girls, I'll get your house heads to come and escort you to your rooms. They'll answer any other questions you have then." Dumbledore said warmly.

"This is going to be amazing," Rhi grinned.

Everyone agreed.


	5. Home

We are not J.K. Rowling and do not accept money for our works... yet.

Chapter by Rhi

* * *

The last three girls trailed out the door and down the staircase to find McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout standing at the bottom.

"Uhh… Rhianna..? Rhiann-annon?" McGonagall looked stumped at her name, which must have been a first for the professor, but not one for Rhi.

Rhi stepped forward, half raising her hand. "Re-Ann-Nun," she replied speaking slowly and annunciating the syllables.

"Ahh, I thought that was you," McGonagall straightened up. "Come along, I would like to get some sleep before Potter gets me up every night this year." She swiftly turned and walked down the silent hallway, Rhi struggling to keep up.

The two other girls stared after their friend until Flitwick cleared his throat. "Miss Cori, if you would kindly follow me, I'll show you to your tower." He squeaked out. Cori followed behind the tiny professor, making sure her next step wasn't going to squash the man.

Laney sighed, watching her friends disappear into the dark corridors.

"Come child," Sprout said, turning Laney's attention to her. "You'll see them tomorrow, and it's not the end of the world, knock on wood, and you'll make plenty of friends." Sprout led Laney to the Hufflepuff house. "And you girls can show this school how the houses should interact with one another. The division of students isn't going to help the magical world one bit." The herbology professor continued babbling, not realizing Laney was hardly paying attention. "But I'm sure Dumbledore will explain everything later, after the four of you get some sleep."

They had stopped in front of portrait. "Here we go; this will be your home." Sprout said. "The password's Bott, dear, and once you're inside, girl's dorms are on the right and sixth years stay in the second to last door. Enjoy you're stay at Hogwarts, Laney." The professor made her way down the corridor to her room, leaving Laney in front of the painting.

"Hope this works," Laney mumbled. She looked back at the painting, "Bott?" She asked with uncertainty. She let out a squeal when the painting swung towards her, giving her an entrance into the wide room. "Good thing Cori isn't here. All she would have to say is that the 'sound effects aren't needed'." Laney rolled her eyes as she entered what would be her home for a while.


	6. The Feast

Yet again we don't claim own-age  
so please no sue-age

chapter by Rhi  
Enjoy Readers!

* * *

Laney entered the Great Hall to find Lizzy and Rhi sitting at the lone table in the room. "Where's Cori?" she dropped her bag down next to Lizzy.

"Something with her mom came up, so she was sent home in the middle of the night." Lizzy replied as she bit into a piece of toast.

"Yeah, so it's just of the three of us this year. I hope they're ready for us." Rhi had a mischievous glint in her eyes. She passed Laney a goblet of breakfast tea, "You'll need it, everyone arrives tonight."

Laney accepted the goblet, "Oh yeah, we actually get to meet Harry freaking Potter!" She squealed.

Lizzy and Rhi laughed at her excitement and continued with their breakfast. Each were lost in their own thoughts about the beginning of their first year as witches.

"I'm so excited, I just hope when we get back home it's not the Salem witch trials all over again. I could see a few girls step into the Abigail William's role, slut and all." Rhi said between bites of a Clementine.

"Why did you have to bring up that damn play." Lizzy whined. "If you're done, let's go explore."

"I'm game." Rhi slide the small orange away from her.

"Me too," replied Laney.

The threesome got up from the table and walked out on to the hallway. Laney was immediately drawn to the moving paintings. "You're Sir Gideon!" She yelped at the normally obnoxious knight.

"Aye, Milady. 'Tis me, but what can I help ye with?" The knight clanged around, the original inhabitant giving the well-meaning knight dirty looks.

"No, but thank you. We're just exploring before everyone arrives." Laney replied politely, her hands behind her back.

"Aye, carry on."

While Laney carried on with the knight, Lizzy had found a house elf wandering the halls.

"So if we would ever need to find you guys for whatever reason, how would we go about that?" She asked innocently enough for her.

"Well, you can leave a note anywhere in the school and we'll get it." The elf squeaked out.

"Ahh, all right. Thank you." She walked back to Laney with a glint in her eyes and the gears turning in her brain. "I may have a plan Laney…"

Rhi has found herself outside by the lake. In the September morning sunshine, it shone like diamonds. She sat down and before she knew it, she was joined by the other two.

"This is going to be fun." Lizzy said with a mischievous smile.

"I don't want to know what you three are thinking." A familiar voice called out behind the girls. Dumbledore had found them. "I'm sorry to end you exploration, but Olivander is here, would you like your wands?"

The girls jumper to their feet and followed the headmaster into the school, up the stairs and back into the study.

The wispy wand maker was opening several long boxes. "Yes, the late bloomers. Who will go first?"

The girls looked among themselves. Rhi shrugged and stepped forward.

"The Gryffindor, I see. Well come forward, try this one." Olivander handed her a dark, slender wand. A swish of it and books flew off the shelves.

"Not that one," Olivander traded her for a chunky white wand that sat in her hand and did nothing. "Certainly not this one either. Ahh here we go."

The chunky wand was replaced by a stout, light wand. Rhi giggled hysterically at the fuzzy feeling the wand gave her.

"All right, yew unicorn core at 11 inches it is for the young Gryffindor." Olivander replied. "Step on up, child." He gestured to Lizzy.

He placed a lithe holly wand in her hand. Light shone from the wand. Olivander chuckled at the sight.

"Well, that was easy; holly dragon heartstring at 16 inches belongs to you, Slytherin. Now you my dear,"

Laney stepped forward more hesitantly than the other two girls, "But what if it's all a mistake, what if no wands belong to me." Laney shouted out before she had a chance to keep her mouth closed.

"Now child, have no fear." Olivander replied and began handing her wands.

It took a few more tries to get the perfect wand for her, but in the end an 11 ¼ inch birch with unicorn hair chose Laney.

"All right girls, I must prepare myself for the coming year, the feast will be in a few hours, so please cause no mischief." Dumbledore winked at the threesome.

The three girls split up to go to their respectful dorms and change into their robes. They met back up in the great hall and watched as the students filed in. They gave their goodbyes and promised to meet up after dinner and explain all they saw.

Rhi made her way to the table dawned in scarlet and gold. As she walked down the table, she felt the stares of everyone around. She sat down at an empty seat and glanced around at all the gawking students. She turned to the boy on her right who she figured to be Seamus. "Hi, I'm Rhiannon, I'm a transfer." She told him; after all she was a Gryffindor.

The Hufflepuff house stared at Laney as well, they just weren't as blunt about it. She found an empty seat and willed Dumbledore to begin soon so she wouldn't have to endure the staring for much longer.

The Slytherins were another story unto themselves. Lizzy hadn't even made it halfway down the table before someone called out.

"Oi, who are you?"

Lizzy turned slowly towards the third year boy and glared him down. "I'm Lizzy and I'm your worst nightmare. Keep that in mind and stay out of my way and you'll do fine."

An enormous applause broke out from the table and they all scooted down to make room for the American girl. She began immediately on conversations like she was a returning student.

* * *

reviews would be appreciated!


End file.
